Silence Is Golden
Over the years, I have oft been accused of being ‘anti – social’ and l do take umbrage to this statement – as l am not anti-social – l may at times be anti-people, anti-crowds or even anti-persons – but l am NOT anti-social!
Truth be known, if anything l am somewhat anti-vocal – l tend to hold the philosophy of ‘silence is golden’ and whilst l can at my own concession talk the back legs off a donkey there are times when the situation demands more of a subtle approach, less is more, quality over quantity and of course in layman’s’ terms – saying nothing is better than saying something useless just because you can open your mouth!
I can and l know l am extremely verbose with the written word but when it comes to speaking – just because l can doesn’t mean l always do, and YET we find many people who seemingly think that it’s perfectly OK at every opportunity to speak even when they have nothing viable to say! These people ‘fear’ silence! The same way that some people fear their own company!
Additionally and in many respects perhaps quite unusual for an Aspergian like myself is that l have acquired the skills to ‘detect Bullcrap’ escaping from another person. In years gone past, l have been suckered in by others, manipulated, bullied and cajoled and coerced to do their bidding and at times much to my own detriment and health.
It is hardly surprising to read of this flaw, many of us in/on the spectrum have fallen victim to so called friends, when the reality is that they are foes – although more of that in another post.
Now, l am perhaps hyper fixated and cynical on anything that someone new actually says or suggests. I don’t trust anything anymore. The reality of this is thankfully my Bullcrap detector is pretty accurate and upon discovery of the falsehood send these fools on their way!
Back to ‘anti-social’ and as said l am not that way inclined at all, l enjoy speaking to people, because when l speak to people, l learn about them, and l both love people watching and learning even if l can’t really stand them.
Another little gift l have is the ability and in truth l never knew l possessed it until around five years ago when someone wanted to know how l had managed to secure so much information about a person when l had only been talking to them for less than 10 minutes?
The answer was simple – l listened to their answers, and asked them specific questions and studied them! I never thought anything of it, until someone brought it up as a special talent – to me, all l was doing, was doing what l thought everyone did and that is speak to people!!
But of course people don’t tend to really speak to people anymore; they apply lip service, and then speak from a designated card it seems with the same ol’ same ol’ greetings! Everyone acts like this, like the art of speaking is just that, a forgotten art, a creative form of language not meant for the likes of mobile phones and text or predictive text.
With the arrival of the new electronic language, we now have a nation of techno whizz kids who have the skill to both bastardise and rape the English language in one thirty second swoop!
I am NOT a party animal, l am not the life and soul of the party [not that l go anymore – way too many people], although l can hold my own on a host of subjects from the mundane to the intellectually high, and apparently l deliver some very witty stories to those who listen – such as the ‘grey squirrels’ or the ‘swans flying to cows jumping to frogs running as well as some wicked anecdotes about life on the spectrum for not just me but others and when asked how l know such things when l am not particularly social – l answer “That’s simple, silence is golden’ – l genuinely listen to what people say, and store it away and don’t open my cakehole just because l can!”
Rory Matier – The Tee Shirt Blogger
Ps: These posts are my views on my autism/Asperger’s, they may not be everyone else’s who is on the spectrum.