Walking On Eggshells!
It’s safe for me to say that this post is my personal opinion, and why should it not be? I wrote it – if anyone would know exactly what is going on in my head at the time of writing this post, it could only be me. So on that note, and without further ado, let me proceed – People annoy the crap out of me! Not everyone of course, but a large majority of them do, not individual persons, no, but en masse loads of individual’s together making up for a society of peoples – yes they do! I know l don’t stand alone in this belief – equally there are many people both on and off the spectrum of autism that feel this way! This design is therefore not specifically aimed at any one particular demograph but it is a generalised bemoaning of ‘people!’ who annoy the living shit out of people like us!
Most days l do wake up in a generally good mood, l am positive at the very least although the days that l used to wake up, spring out of bed like some adulterous rogue on the hoppity, bright eyed and busy tailed like those of my youth – sadly are gone – now l roll outa bed, cynical and tired, and zombie like and many a time, unawares to even my name, let alone my location! It matters not if l retire early with a view to rising early either, l still am this burned out husk of the person l used to be and that would be ME on a good day, so don’t even ask about bad days! I do maintain that l am three things in no set order, a pragmatist, a realist and an factualist! That these days l refuse point blankly to take shit from anyone, that l am my own man, good, bad and downright ugly that may well be, but at least l am me!
Many have said of me that l am not a morning person, that l am a night owl, and whilst that may have been the case as little as a year ago, as we age we change, we mature we wise up, and more importantly we get slower. I am no longer the insomniac l used to be, l fall asleep on the couch during the evenings, and if woken abruptly can be a little cranky. But those little couch potato cat naps act like some kind of booster to me, and l will be awake at the PC for another hour or two, because mentally l simply am not as tired as l was when sitting on the couch! Others have maintained that at times l am like a bear with a sore head and that it is more like l have got out of the wrong side of the bed, never mind just woken up Grumpy As Fuck!
There was a time when meltdowns were almost a daily regularity sadly, when being in a good mood was a true rarity, and one might find more golden pleasures at the bottom of the rainbow that pleasant temperament treasures from me! I remember very clearly my earlier years Pre-Aspergers’ diagnosis and l was in a bad mood more times than not. I was constantly confused at people, things, location, society – fuck – truth be known – anything and everything could throw me off on one! Walking on Eggshells was something that those around me had to not only frequently practice but master!
I was not the most pleasant person to be around it was that simple, l wasn’t aggressive to anyone, but with my head so fucked up with confusions and befuddlements l was quite often explosively volatile!
However it changed once l received my diagnosis – not overnight in fact the change took roughly the same amount of years to establish as did the overall acceptance of being on the spectrum – so roughly 4-5 years.
But l learned which tools to use, l came to understand that l had limits and boundaries with the environment, with people, relationships, friendships, demands, and time – basically anything that furnished me with stress even the smallest microscopic amounts l learned to walk away from them. Because to do so, is not cowardly as someone once threw at me, but brave – you know that should you stay in the volatility of the situation – you are going to be pushed too far and absorb too much negativity – so you walk away! If this means that you dump and abandon friendships, people whatever then these are the issues you must learn to live with, especially if you wish to live a calmer lifestyle.
Significantly These Pointers:
1] You avoid conflictive issues
2] You avoid conflictive people
3] You avoid combative and competitive situations
4] You AVOID stress
5] You learn to walk away
6] You learn to accept that certain situations you will never have control over
7] You come to accept that you have limits and boundaries and you live by them as best and as often as you can!
8] Avoid lots of people!
So technically, you should be without huge quantities of stress …
But life isn’t like that all the time, which is why we can’t ALWAYS be 100% bright eyed and bushy tailed!
I have noticed a few things in my life over the years that irk me beyond all measures, and l am sure you can relate to these? I haven’t listed all of them, which could prove to be quite a list, but the issues that are concerning me of late!
Noisy Neighbours! = People!
Unnecessary and unwanted internet advertising popups!
Jumping guinea pig sized dogs that think they are Dobermans!
Dog owners that don’t clean up after their dogs!
People in general!
Stepping in dog shit due to lazy inconsiderate people!
In retrospect when l think about a poll l took part in a few years ago about what truly annoys people – my 8 items and not denying they are frustrating to say the very least is quite miniscule as a problem – the fundamental item that stands out, is l have a problem with other people! My answer to that is who the hell doesn’t? But also, l have always had a problem with bloody people!
They are so damningly unpredictable! You can never tell where you really stand with them, and this is more of pressing point if you don’t know them, but sadder than that is sometimes the people you do know prove to be just as bloody irksome!
Mostly l am in a pretty good mood, but you know …
….there are times when ‘people’ are involved that l cannot always guarantee that so easily!
Sometimes it is just easier to say you might be in a bad mood if it is going to be a people day, because you never know when , why, how or even whom might throw a cog into a perfectly happy day – and if at the end of the day – you are still wearing a smile – then that’s a bonus!
Rory Matier – The Tee Shirt Blogger
Ps: These posts are my views on my autism/Asperger’s, they may not be everyone else’s who is on the spectrum.